To the Dad Who Didn't Want Me
Derrick, I honestly don't even know where to begin or what to say. I've been sitting here, staring at a blank page for a good 30 minutes, praying the words would just come to me. My brain and heart have been fighting with each other quite a bit the last few days. Part of me wants to just forget you ever existed and keep going with life as always. The other part of me cares too much and wants you to know it. I've hated you my entire life and I'm just so sick of it. I'm sick of always wondering how things would be if you had actually cared and loved us enough to stick around and be a parent. I'm sick of having feelings from time to time of not being good enough. If I had been good enough, you would have stuck around, or at least tried harder to have a relationship with me. None of that matters now, though. I have been very blessed with an amazing father figure who has loved and raised me as his own. So I guess I should thank you for never being here. I wouldn...
And I am lucky to have you in my life. What a blessing you are to me!
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