Living With Lizzie

You should be here with us. Your daddy and I should be chasing you around with your big brother and sister. You should be celebrating your third birthday with us in a few months. Instead, you're in our Heavenly Father's arms, and we never got to meet you. I often wonder if you would have been a beautiful, curly haired girl like your sister, or a strong, handsome boy like your brother. Would you have brown hair and hazel brown eyes like Mommy? Or brown hair and hazel blue eyes like Daddy, Will, and Charli? Would you be calm and easy going, or strong willed and stubborn? Would you be shy, or outgoing? I know you would have been such a beautiful child, with such a beautiful personality. We may not have known you here on earth, but we cannot wait to know you in Heaven. We mourn for what we missed, but we rejoice for what we'll one day know. We love you, little one. 

People change. People grow. People part ways and go different directions as their lives evolve. This isn't a bad thing. Growing is so beautiful. Finding your way through life is amazing. You meet new people who fit where you are. Wives want to be friends with other wives. Mothers want to be friends with other mothers. The same with husbands and fathers, as well as everyone else. You want friends who are going through and experiencing the same things you are. These are the people you need. The ones who understand where you are and can help you through life. This isn't to say you can't have a friendship with those who are not where you are. You absolutely can. But at the end of the day, we all need people who share our love, joys, interests, and experiences. People who help us move forward by doing the same, and not hold us back by staying where they are. Growing is scary. But, man, is it beautiful.

When I first met you, I had no idea just how badly I needed you. I knew I needed someone, but I never expected you to be that person. I was walking around with so much darkness hanging over me. My mind was spiraling out of control and, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop it. I put on a front for everyone, but you saw past my smile. I had never felt as comfortable with anyone else as I did with you. I had so many walls up, but one by one, you knocked them all down. You made me feel so safe and so loved, and I knew I could trust you when I couldn't trust anyone else. Though it took a little while, once I started opening up to you, you listened without judgment. You never rushed our conversations or made me feel like I was a burden to you. You showed me that I was loved and that you truly cared. You gave me exactly what I needed and, unbeknownst to you, you saved my life in the process. I wouldn't be where I am if it weren't for you and your unconditional love. Y